Well, that’s one way to ditch your pants… and your car.
Margaret Cho is letting loose (sorry) about the time she pooped her pants onstage at the end of a comedy show during the early aughts — while she was wearing an all-white outfit, naturally.
“I started taking these drugs that would remove the fat from the food that you ate,” the comedian said recently on the How to Fail With Elizabeth Day podcast, adding that “these weird drugs” would “just make you s—.”
Cho continued, “And there was one time I was wearing all white at a show, and I was killing, I was doing really well, and I was almost at the end and I started to s— out. I couldn’t control it. It was starting to come out. It was like, because it was all oil. It was just grease because it was fat — you remove the fat from your food, all that comes out is this, it looked like pepperoni grease that you blot on top of a pizza.”
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Cho, who didn’t name the venue or provide other details of the performance itself, explained that the unnamed medication, which was supposed to be for weight loss, was orange, hence the color. “I just started spurting orange grease out of my a–hole while I’m onstage, and I ended the show while the s— is coming out,” she explained, adding, “I got a standing ovation. They wanted an encore. All I could do was back up out of view and just back up through the curtains. I was in a theater.”
Luckily for Cho, it was a small theater and nobody was backstage or in the parking lot, and all of the viewers were in the front of the house. Therefore, after backing up out of the stage, she “squatted on the ground, and I let the rest of the oil out of my a–hole just to alleviate the cramping.”
The pants she was wearing were hopeless, she recalled, which unfortunately also affected her car, which she said she ended up just replacing. “I got in the car, I could still hear the audience applauding like demanding an encore,” she said. “As I drove away, I had a huge orange oil stain in the front seat of my car that I could not get out. I had to just get a new car.”
When asked by Day what her “mindset” was in the car after the show, Cho admitted she was “really upset.”
“I was crying,” she said. “I was really like disgusted. I was also concerned because I knew I was staining the seat in my car and I was not sure how I was getting [it out] because it wasn’t like leather seats. They were like fabric seats that would absorb it.”
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However, ever the comedian, Cho did admit that, amid the tears, she also had to laugh at the situation: “I was also laughing cuz this is like really funny, too, but it’s horrible, and I’ve done it to myself.”
Moral of the story? “I stopped taking the drugs at that point,” she admitted.