Gideon Kodua remembers the moment the harsh realities of what it takes to become a professional footballer set in.
The tears were streaming down his face after the transition from academy stardom to League One had proved more difficult than he envisioned at the end of the 2023-24 season. During a six-month loan spell with League One side Wycombe Wanderers, the former West Ham United trainee failed to score in 10 appearances.
Having been tipped for great things after a crucial role in West Ham’s FA Youth Cup-winning team in 2022-23, Kodua hit a bump in the road — one that he has clearly learned from. Nearly two years on from his first loan, the 21-year-old is Luton Town’s top goalscorer with 10 goals as Jack Wilshere’s team sit 10th in the third tier.
“If I tell you everything that happened, we’d be here for hours,” Kodua, who made his summer loan to Kenilworth Road permanent in January, tells The Athletic at Luton’s training ground. “I definitely learnt that confidence is a big thing in football.
“There reached a point where I was facing self-doubt every day. I’d gone from scoring goals in the under-21s to struggling in League One. In my eyes, I could’ve done better. Everyone was saying I did well, but I disagree. The sadness was gradual. I was emotional a lot; I’m an emotional person. I might not show it, but that was a difficult time for me.
“After sessions, I’d go home and cry, or even stay in my car and cry. I’d be at home, beating myself up. In my mind, I should’ve been doing better. I’d say things like, ‘This isn’t good enough, that shouldn’t have happened, what is going on?’ I was in a dark place, and all of that didn’t help.”
Kodua had fellow West Ham academy graduate Freddie Potts as his team-mate at Wycombe. It initially helped the young forward settle, but as the weeks turned into months, his confidence drained. Kodua was away from loved ones and became homesick. The forward is from Custom House, in Newham, east London, and the youngest of four brothers.
In April 2023, he captained West Ham to an FA Youth Cup triumph — their first in 24 years — over Arsenal. That Arsenal side featured Ethan Nwaneri and Myles Lewis-Skelly, and had Wilshere — his current boss — as manager. Kodua’s audacious dink from 35 yards showcased his huge potential.
He ended the 2022-23 season with 15 goals across 28 appearances for the under-18s. In the previous campaign, he registered 11 goals in 26 league games for the youth team. Kodua’s form prompted Matt Bloomfield, the then Luton manager who had coached Kodua at Wycombe, to sign him. But the transition from academy football to League One was stark.
“I turned to God a lot,” says Kodua. “I’d read the Bible, and the verse Philippians 4:13 I’d constantly read, which is that I can do all things through Christ. That was one of the verses that stuck with me. Even though I wasn’t doing well, I was still reading.
“At Wycombe, there were a lot of Christians and we used to have a Bible study group. It helped me massively and kept me going on the right path. I felt all alone, but I’m glad I threw myself in the deep end.
“When I started going back home to my family, that’s when I gradually started to feel better. I was slowly building my confidence again. Little steps. I knew I had to snap out of all the negative thoughts and not hold them in.
“Talking to people helped. When I was holding it in and putting on a brave face, that made everything worse. When I’d go home, I instantly felt like I was trapped inside the four walls as soon as I closed the door. If I didn’t go through that, I wouldn’t have the resilience I have today. If I experience that again, I’d know how to snap out of it.”
Despite his internal struggles, Kodua was determined to prove his worth, rejoining Wycombe on loan during the 2024-25 season. He scored three goals in 25 appearances and helped them reach the play-offs, where they lost 1-0 to Charlton Athletic in the semi-finals.
Gideon Kodua playing for Wycombe in January 2025 (Alex Pantling/Getty Images)
Last July, Kodua joined Luton and linked up with Bloomfield again. Luton had suffered back-to-back relegations, and Bloomfield wanted to build a young core. The loan deal included an option to buy midway through the season. Kodua scored on his league debut against Bradford City in August and he was benefiting from playing regularly.
But Bloomfield was sacked on October 6, with Luton 11th in the table. Wilshere, the former Arsenal and England midfielder, was named as Bloomfield’s successor and knew all about Kodua from that FA Youth Cup final. Kodua has benefited from his appointment, reaching double figures for the season and making his move permanent.
“After my loans at Wycombe, I was playing men’s football, so there was no way I was going back to under-21s,” says Kodua. “It would’ve felt like a step down and seeing other players at West Ham go out on loan and play under-21s again, that’s not what I wanted. I was determined to test myself again, and it’s brought me to where I am now.
“When you come to this type of environment, where the three points actually matter, you know you can’t mess up. One day, you’re going to have to snap out of the comfort of under-21s football. The earlier you do it, the better.
“The manager’s been good since he’s come in. He’s known me for a long time, so to actually work with him is a blessing. He’s a mixture of an arm-around-the-shoulder and telling you off when you need it.
“At half-time against Stevenage, he said, ‘You’ve been terrible’. So I responded by scoring in the second half. He didn’t say it in front of the team. He told me as soon as I walked into the dressing room. After the game, he said, ‘Fair play, you were much better’. That was his way of getting the best out of me.”
Kodua pictured at Luton Town’s training ground during his interview with The Athletic (Roshane Thomas/The Athletic)
Kodua hopes to help Town return to the Championship at the first time of asking. Following last Saturday’s 1-1 draw against Burton Albion, Wilshere’s side are six points off the play-offs. Kodua’s first major silverware was the FA Youth Cup. He knows he will always be asked about it, but wants to improve his collection.
“It’s the best feeling I’ve had in football,” says Kodua. “It was mental but, honestly, I don’t remember most of it. I couldn’t even remember the celebration in the changing room. I remember flashes of my goal, but I don’t think about it now because it’s in the past.
“It happened three years ago, and I want to create new memories. I want to have more moments like that with Luton. It’s great it happened, but I also want to be remembered for something else.”
Kodua is without a goal in seven matches, with his last goal coming against Lincoln City on January 17. A vision board is fueling his determination to end the season in strong fashion. When asked how close he is to ticking off his objectives, the forward gleefully responded: “I’ll let you know when I’m done.”