MILAN — Amber Glenn, eyes red-rimmed and glassy, finished her layback spin and folded her chest parallel to the ice, her shoulders quivering just a little. Bowing her head, a long blonde half-ponytail sidebraid hanging down her neck, Glenn took a deep, shaky breath and allowed herself a private moment.
Or as private of a moment an Olympic figure skater can get in a packed Milano Ice Skating Arena on the biggest stage in the world.
Glenn who made headlines in Italy before she even performed last week in speaking out about it being a “tough time” for the LGBQT+ community, didn’t skate well on Sunday night. An individual U.S. medal hopeful, Glenn finished third in the women’s singles free skate. She struggled through the first half of her program and seemed tentative throughout, leaving her to marry a series of conflicting emotions in the hours that followed as the United States went on to win a team gold medal.
Disappointment with herself. Guilt for putting Ilia Malinin, the incomparable Quad God, in a position where he had to win the men’s singles to avoid the U.S. getting upset.
Glenn was thrilled for the work her teammates put in and honest about not physically feeling well Sunday night. She was also stunned by the amount of social media blowback she received when she responded to a question about how she felt the LGBQT+ community was being treated under President Donald Trump.
Glenn, a member of that community, said she received death threats and hadn’t ever received so many harmful online comments.
“I couldn’t believe the outlandish backlash I’ve received for just supporting people,” she said. “And of course I have people supporting me and I’m not online right now because of it. But I’m going to keep speaking my truth. I’m gonna keep representing what I believe in and what I think all Americans believe in, which is freedom and being able to love and do what you want. So I just, I hope we can keep going forward and be positive.”
Glenn, who also said previously she wanted to use her platform to encourage people to “stay strong in hard times,” posted Saturday on her Instagram story that she would be taking a break from social media because of the backlash. She said Sunday she didn’t think any of this affected her performance.
(Antonin Thuillier / AFP via Getty Images)
A few years ago, Glenn — who has also been candid about her struggle with anxiety and the importance of mental health — might not have been able to separate the two so well.
“I just didn’t feel good,” Glenn said of her skate and her initial tear-eyed reaction on the ice. “And there was a lot of disappointment in how I was feeling. Of course, looking back, I’m proud of how I was able to fight through the program. It’s shown how much I’ve grown mentally. I just physically did not feel my best out there.”
Glenn’s program, which used music aptly titled “I Will Find You, The Return,” wasn’t a total disaster. Wearing a shimmery navy one-shoulder dress, Glenn landed her opening triple axel and stayed upright even without a clean landing.
Her 138.62 score — 10 points behind Japan’s Kaori Sakamoto — was just enough to keep the United States even with Japan when she handed the proverbial baton to Malinin, who landed five quad jumps to seal gold.
Glenn, who posted a 150.50 free skate just weeks ago at the World Championships, will have to be better when the individual competition begins. Much better if she’s going to have a chance to help the American women end an individual Olympic medal drought that stretches back 20 years (and four years beyond that for gold).
Glenn was comforted by her teammate Ellie Kam after her disappointing performance. (Wang Zhao / AFP via Getty Images)
At 26, Glenn is the oldest U.S. singles skater in nearly 100 years. She’s also one of their best shots at medaling. She is one of a few women skaters who consistently lands a triple axel, widely considered the most difficult triple jump in women’s skating. Her impressive athleticism and recent dominance on the international circuit had her entering Milan riding a high.
Last month, Glenn became the first woman since Michelle Kwan to win three consecutive U.S. titles. Her practices all week, Glenn said, have been great. Whether she can translate that to the big stage remains to be seen.
On Sunday, Glenn’s teammates picked her up. And then she literally lifted Malinin up in celebration and stood alongside him to sing the national anthem as the American flag was raised up into the rafters.
Glenn says she’s also been proud to sing “The Star-Spangled Banner” even if she doesn’t particularly like her singing voice. She’ll deal with it if it means there are more medals hanging around her neck in Italy.
Just like Glenn will deal with her critics by doing the same thing she’s always done: continuing to support what she believes in.
“People online attacking people for speaking their minds, which is their Second Amendment right, is absolutely absurd. So I just hope that going forward we can be positive and support our team athletes,” she said.
“I’m always going to speak my truth.”